I'd like to stop talking about the recent Batman story "The Gift", really I would. I'd like to file the three issues away in my longboxes and forget it was ever published. But it seems Tom King doesn't want to let me do that.

Please, no.

#BEGIN RANT (Warning: rant may contain spoilers)

I'm not intimately familiar with King's entire body of work, but I find it unlikely he's grown as popular as he is if all of his stories are as carelessly crafted as "The Gift."

The premise is laughably bad, an idea that should have been left on the back of whatever cocktail napkin King first jotted it on. How, exactly, is changing time to prevent the wedding of Batman and Catwoman supposed to be a gift? What kind of person would choose a vague dream over the lives of two loving parents? What kind of person would expect someone else to? Booster Gold was a former member of the Justice League, not a super villain. The excuse of immaturity can only be stretched so far.

The conclusion is no better. It's the worst kind of time travel plot device, where the resolution invalidates everything that came before. The Booster Gold who has been tortured by Bruce Wayne for the previous year can no longer exist. How can any Booster remember an event which never happened? (By the way, what happened to the corpse of the impossible Bruce Wayne? Or Skeets? Or the "other" Booster Gold? Damn this rabbit hole!) The resolution of "The Gift," as nonsensical as it is, makes it clear that its events can only affect one character (at most), and that character wasn't even the guy whose name is on the cover. If King hadn't tweeted otherwise, I would have assumed this story was filler so the wedding could take place in an issue with a nice, round number.

Speaking of Batman, he comes off just as poorly as Booster Gold does. As I wrote back in April, King ostensibly set out to recreate Alan Moore's "For The Man Who Has Everything..." by showing that the world was a worse place without Batman. However, instead of affirming the heroic value of one of the most popular fictional characters of all time, King instead successfully invalidates another of Moore's stories, The Killing Joke. In the end, all it takes is "one bad day" for Bruce Wayne to become a gun-toting murderer. Was that the goal, to demonstrate not that the world is better with Batman in it but that *Batman* is a better person because his parents died young? Unlike Booster, who King treats as a brain-dead court jester, Batman should be deserving of some respect. But no, his character is dragged through just as much mud.

If this story is any indication, King clearly cares nothing for characterization. Any excuse to write a feral Catwoman who kills for no apparent reason or a Batman who shoots first and asks questions never. (Or worse, Green Lanterns who shoot themselves in the head on a dare.) Judging by the quote above, I'm guessing that King intentionally ignored years of character development so that Booster Gold would be in position for that other story he wants to tell. Otherwise he certainly went out of his way to mangle some beloved characters for no obvious reason.

#END RANT

Maybe you were one of those people who who read "The Gift" and liked it. More power to you. In that case, perhaps you'd like to hear what BleedingCool.com has to speculate about this announcement.

Personally, I found the ridiculous premise, careless resolution, and misguided characterization insulting to some characters and artists I'm actually quite fond of. If "The Gift" is any indication of the kind of story that King likes to write, I'd prefer that he left Booster Gold on the sidelines instead.

FOOTNOTE 2018-05-18:

I'm guessing... lobotomy? (As I said above, "the excuse of immaturity can only be stretched so far.")

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You'll find the third and final chapter of "The Gift" appearing in Batman #47 is in your Local Comic Shop today. CBR.com has the preview, demonstrating that Booster Gold has lost his mind and Bruce Wayne is a real bastard.

If you missed the beginning of this story — lucky you. But if you still want a copy, DC is releasing a second printing of Batman #45 today. The first printing sold out all 96,000+ copies. To put that in perspective, that one issue has already sold more than *twice* the number of copies of any single issue of Booster's recent 6-part "Booster Shot" story in Action Comics.

(Consider that Booster's first series was canceled because the character was rejected by 1980s audiences for being too immoral, yet the version of Booster that sells best in 2018 is a much, much bigger jerk than Dan Jurgens' original incarnation ever was. Go figure.)

Batman #47 isn't the only issue out today featuring Booster Gold and Batman. A more traditional interpretation of both characters can be found in Injustice 2 #26. Our hero doesn't play a big part in the proceedings, but at least he's easy to recognize. He's the only hero attending Batman's meeting wearing a t-shirt with his own face on it.

Who says we can't have it all? Booster boosters who like the beard can pick up Batman #47. And for those who prefer a clean-shaven hero, grab Injustice #26. Everybody's a winner today.

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Remember that time that Booster Gold went back in time and changed history? Obviously, I'm talking about "Blue & Gold," a story written by Jeff Katz and Geoff Johns running between Booster Gold Volume 2 #0 and #1,000,000.

(No, there weren't one million issues in the story. Issue #0 was released in February and issue #1,000,000 came out in July. Issues #6, #7, #8, #9 — released 10 years ago today — and #10 came out in between, so it's only a 7-part story. Comics numbering can be weird.)

The premise of "Blue & Gold" is that Booster Gold, who has altered time for entirely selfish reasons, finds that the new timeline he has accidentally created is far, far worse than anything he could have imagined. Heroes have died. Villains are victorious. And the worst of it is that Booster has no idea how to fix the problems he created...

Hmm. Why does this feels so familiar?

Only a comic book character could learn so little from his own history.

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Booster Gold fans who voted in Monday's poll were pretty clear that they want the beard to go.

Last week's poll question: Should Booster Gold keep his beard from BATMAN 46? (85 votes)

Those of you who love the beard, take heart. You'll be seeing more of it before it goes away. Earlier this week, writer Tom King tweeted this image by artists Tony Daniel and Tomeu Morey from next week's Batman #47:

I guess when Booster broke history, he also broke his razor.

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Sometimes I worry that the delightful friendship between Booster Gold and Blue Beetle will be forgotten by the comic-reading public. After all, Ted Kord was killed 13 years ago. That's a long time in the world of comic books. For example, the DC Universe has been rebooted three times since then! (None of those reboots reinstated the Blue and Gold team.)

That's why I was so pleased to see the Pittsburgh City Paper's interview with comic artist Marcel Walker. Walker, voted the paper's 2017 "Best Local Cartoonist," was the cover artist for this week's issue, and was interviewed about it by Lisa Cunningham.

Cunningham: This week's cover features our take on Batman and Robin. Which Pittsburgh artist would you choose to be your sidekick?

Walker: Most people would say the local writer Wayne Wise and I are already an inseparable creative duo. Together, he and I have been working as lead writer and lead artist, respectively, on the CHUTZ-POW! comic book. We've known each other for years, and since we have so much creative stuff going on at any given time, we're like each other's sidekick and biggest fan. We have more of a Blue Beetle/Booster Gold dynamic, though. (The comics fans will understand that reference!)

Yes, we do understand. And it's great to see someone keeping the spirit of Blue and Gold alive in the public eye. (City Paper reports a circulation of 58,000. That's a lot of readers who are probably hearing about the adventures of Blue and Gold for the first time.)

You can see more of Walker's work (and his collaborations with Wise) on his website, www.marcelwalker.com.

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