The following entry was originally posted on the Boosterrific! Blog as the very first in the series of "secret history" posts on July 2, 2013, when a youthfully naive USA was preparing to celebrate her 237th birthday and you could still trust everything you saw on the Internet.

On July 2, 1776, the Second Continental Congress passed Virginian Richard Henry Lee's resolution for independence from Great Britain, and thus was born the United States of America.

The adoption of the declaration of that new-found independence two days later is what we now celebrate, but the real secret of America's independence is the role that Booster Gold played in ensuring it ever happened.

What really happened in Independence Hall in the summer of 1776? The world may never know.

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Justice League Task Force #37 (1996)

New year, same old party. (You cannot improve upon perfection.)

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Just a reminder: Halloween doesn't have to be scary. It can also be adorable.

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In 1985, DC Comics decided that their continuity had become so complex and discouraging to new readers that they had a Crisis on Infinite Earths to scrap everything and start over. DC has spent the past few decades rolling that back, but I'm starting to think that they had a point. Case in point:

Per Booster booster Jade Knight:

Our guy's really on a roll right now. One of the most recent episodes of Teen Titans Go! sees him on an assembly line being forced to lay eggs alongside his pal Ted Kord and other members of the DCU (S9 E8: "Teen Titans and the Easter Factory"). Yes, you heard that right.

I'm not a regular Cartoon Network Teen Titans Go! viewer, but watching the episode to grab that screenshot made it clear that the cartoon Teen Titans had some serious backstory with the Easter Bunny. So I looked it up on teen-titans-go.fandom.com.

The Easter Bunny was introduced in season 3 ("The Teen Titans Go! Easter Holiday Classic") as a captive of a rogue Santa Claus plotting to take over all the holidays. The Titans were repulsed by the Easter Bunny's half-man, half-rabbit appearance and especially the fact that a half-man/half-rabbit lays eggs. Despite their misgivings, the team still aided him again in season 4 ("Easter Creeps") to save Easter from the Tooth Fairy. In season 5 ("Booty Eggs"), the Titans decide the Easter Bunny is too creepy to tolerate any longer and work to replace him themselves. (When you think about it, this pretty much the same plan as hatched by Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy in the earlier episodes, but Teen Titans Go! episodes are better when you don't think too much.) The Titans are forced to realize they aren't cut out to run Easter and cede oversight back to the Easter Bunny.

In season 7, the pattern repeats itself when the Titans have to help the Easter Bunny defend Easter from Marshmallow Ducky ("Feed Me"), and Beast Boy foils Santa Claus's latest attempt to take over all holidays from the Godfather-inspired Holiday Mob ("A Holiday Story").

In season 8 ("Easter Annihilation"), inspired by Aliens, the Easter Bunny finally becomes a fully fledged supervillain when he decides that every day should be Easter. His plan? "Since Easter is based on the lunar calendar, I'm going turn the moon into an Easter Egg so every day will be Easter!" (Like I said, don't think about it.)

Anyway, all that history informs the latest Easter Bunny episode in which the Easter Bunny's latest plan for world domination is to impersonate Willy Wonka's famous chocolate factory and capture all the heroes and villains of the DCU to lay eggs until there are enough for everyone in the world. (Don't. Think.)

I think I'll have a crisis myself if I have to watch any more Teen Titans Go! Easter episodes.

Thanks to Jade Knight for keeping us informed.

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Justice League Task Force #37 (1996)

The gang looks happier every year!

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